When Relationships Go Sour; A look at David and Joab.

Have you ever had someone so close to you and then down the journey of life, the person actually became your enemy?
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Well this is not new. We have examples of this in the bible. One of such was the relationship between David and Joab. 

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According the scripture (2 Samuel 8; 16, 20;23) Joab was the captain of Davids army. He must have been quite close to David, or at least he had unusual access to David. Why can we say this? When David plotted the murder of Uriah the husband of Bathsheba, he sent the letter to Joab stating that, Joab should put Uriah in the forefront of the hottest battle that he might die (2 Samuel 11; 14-15_).

As this was a letter sent to Joab, Joab would have known what David did. Despite this, Joab continued to be the head of army for David.

In the process of time, when David began to reap his actions (2 Samuel 12; 10), Absalom tried to overthrow his father David. David had to flee for this life, and as time went on, Absalom was killed. It was Joab that went to speak to David, when it appeared that David was more concerned about his son, than the people (2 Samuel 19;6) and David listened.

From this we can see that David and Joab had a long standing relationship.

It also appears that David tried to replace Joab with Amasa, but this was short lived as Joab killed Amasa (2 Samuel 19; 13, 2 Samuel 20; 8-13).

Towards the end of David’s life, Joab sided with Adonijah rather than Solomon the promised king (1 Kings 1; 7). We have no idea why Joab did that.

When David was giving his final words, he told Solomon the following regarding Joab
1 Kings 2 ; 5-6
 “Moreover thou knowest also what Joab the son of Zeruiah did to me, and what he did to the two captains of the hosts of Israel, unto Abner the son of Ner, and unto Amasa the son of Jether, whom he slew, and shed the blood of war in peace, and put the blood of war upon his girdle that was about his loins, and in his shoes that were on his feet.
6 Do therefore according to thy wisdom, and let not his hoar head go down to the grave in peace”.

Very sad, but these were David’s  last words for Joab.

Joab and David, as we can see from the above had good times together, and Joab was there for David in difficult times. Something must have gone wrong in the relationship towards the end of David’s life.

Yes, David was a man after Gods heart but we must remember that he did not have the love of God shed abroad in his heart as we do. David was not a son of God as we are today. So David walked in the light that he had. This probably explains his last words about Joab.

Today we have Gods love shed abroad in our hearts (Romans 5;5), and we have the love commandment. We are commanded to “walk in love”, (Ephesians 1; 1-2).

Things do happen, and sometimes relationships can go soar. This is not Gods best, neither is it His desire, but people make wrong choices.

So what should be our response?

 We have a supernatural ability at our disposal because we are born of God.

Firstly we need to make peace if all possible. And if we have contributed to the problem we need to repent and ask for forgiveness.
Romans 12; 18
 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

We must forgive, and walk in love.
Colossians 3; 3
 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

The Lord will give us wisdom on what to do about the relationship, but we must forgive and walk in love.
 
Bisi Oladipupo